Wanting To Lose Weight, But Not Doing It?
Apr 5, 2008 
Linda Spangle, RN, MA, is a weight-loss coach specializing in emotional eating, and the author of 100 Days of Weight Loss, a book of daily lessons that helps people stay committed to their diet and exercise plans.
Does this conversation sound familiar?
"What is wrong with me?" Carol slammed her hand down on the table. "I’m so frustrated with myself! Every morning, I tell myself that today will be different. I’m going to stay on my diet the way I should, and NOT fall off by the middle of the afternoon."
"Have you been having trouble with this?" I asked. "You wouldn’t believe it," she sighed. "I’ve done everything you’ve said. I plan out my meals, set out my exercise clothes, buy healthy foods, and write down what I eat."
"But every afternoon, it’s like this monster comes over me and I lose my determination." Tears began sliding down her cheeks as she continued, "It feels too hard! I’ve had a lot of challenges and disappointment lately, and I always end up reaching for a glass of wine or a few cookies to help me cope. Then I get upset because I’ve messed up my diet again."
I handed her a box of tissues, then responded, "Carol, there’s nothing wrong with you at all. What you’re doing is extremely common and normal. I think the real issue is how you’re coping with your life struggles."
Then I asked, "How badly do you want to lose weight? How important is it to you?" Carol wiped her eyes, then responded. "I want it VERY badly. I can’t stand how I look and feel right now. I would give ANYTHING to be able to lose weight."
"Anything?" I asked. "Does that mean you’re willing to give up having wine or cookies when you get upset or feel challenged?" Carol thought for a minute. "Are you saying I can’t ever have a glass of wine after a bad day?"
"Not necessarily," I replied. "Being successful isn’t about setting rigid rules or feeling deprived. It’s about making choices based on what you truly want in your life."
It sounds great to say, 'I really want to lose weight,' but making this happen takes effort. If you tend to routinely fall off your diet plan, you may want to look at the difference between being interested and being committed.
When you’re ‘interested’ in losing weight, you say all the right words, but it doesn’t take much to get you off track. A hard day, another disappointment, and you’re back to food being your best friend.
In contrast, when you’re committed to your weight-loss plan, you stick with it no matter what. You don’t blame circumstances or other people for your slip ups. On days when you get worn down or don’t “feel” like dieting, you stay on the plan anyway.
Here’s a summary of the two directions.
If you're "interested" in losing weight…
* You stick with it only until something better comes along (such as doughnuts)
* How you feel determines your outcome. If you don’t ‘feel like it,’ you stop your efforts.
* You need to see results. When the scale doesn’t move, you lose your motivation.
* You blame everything else (people, travel, circumstances) for your struggles with staying on your diet.
* Whenever you face challenges in life, you give up and plan you’ll start your diet again tomorrow.
If you're "committed" to losing weight…
* Nothing stops your efforts. You stick with your diet, ‘no matter what.’
* Emotions don’t control your actions. You stay on track even when you don’t feel like it.
* Your motivation isn't linked to the scale. You assume that if you stay motivated and work hard, you’ll eventually see results.
* You don’t depend on other people for your success. You know it’s up to you, not them.
* A bad day or a lot of challenges don’t affect your efforts. You keep going in spite of it.
At this point, Carol nodded. "I thought I was really determined to lose weight," she said. "But I’ve been acting like I was only interested in it. Starting today, I’m going to change my approach and live in ways that show I’m truly committed to my goals."
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