Dr. Mark Goulston is a former UCLA professor who helps high performing leaders, senior management and sales people reach their full potential using skills he learned training FBI and police hostage negotiators. He is a member of the National Association of Corporate Directors and the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches and writes the weekly Tribune syndicated career advice column, "Solve Anything with Dr. Mark" and columns on leadership for FAST COMPANY and Directors Monthly and is an expert at People Jam. He is frequently called upon to share his expertise with regard to contemporary business, national and world news by television, radio and print media including: Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, Los Angeles Times, ABC/NBC/CBS/Fox/CNN/BBC News, Oprah, and Today. Mark Goulston is the author of The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship, Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior, Get Out of Your Own Way at Work and PTSD for Dummies. For more information visit: www.markgoulston.com.

Mark Goulston--

There are none so blind as those who will not see;

none so deaf as those who will not hear;

none so ignorant as those who will not listen;

and none so foolish as those

who think they can change anyone

who will not see, hear or listen.

- Warren Bennis

Need a little reassurance? Need to hear some solutions?

I know I do. Here is what I will be watching and listening for in the Obama, McCain, Biden and Palin debates.

Do They Engender Trust?

They don't lie, become defensive or evasive (as evidenced by shifting eyes or becoming fidgety). They thoughtfully listen and consider the question so that we don't feel they are brushing it off. When they don't understand or have an answer, rather than dodging it or coming up with some pat response ("full of sound and fury signifying nothing"), they will lean into the question respectfully demonstrating its legitimacy and the person who asked it and commit to getting that answer and providing it by a specific time.

Do They Command Respect?

Given the candidates' personal and professional accomplishments and challenges they have faced and persevered through, I respect them all. If however they resort to blaming, finger pointing, excuse making or in any way shirking away from taking responsibility for their actions and decisions, that will hemorrhage through my respect for them. If they stay mired in the problem vs. the solutions and if they are clearer in their blaming than in their solving I will further lose respect for them.

Do They Instill Confidence?

This is the biggest challenge. We have all lost confidence in the financial markets, our government, our representatives and anyone being able to get us out of this mess. More than any of the three, this is the one factor that most needs a tourniquet right now.

What I will need to see and hear in the candidates to instill confidence in me for them are that they do engender my trust and command my respect (and don't do anything to lose it), but I will need to see something more.

I will need to see in their eyes and countenance something that I call TCDCC . If I see it, I will have more confidence, if I don't I will have less. I think you will feel the same

TCDCC – Thoughtfulness, Consideration, Deliberation, Clarity, Conclusion

Thoughtfulness

This is an anti-American idea whose time has come. We no longer have the luxury of being a creditor nation and THE superpower to shoot from the hip and believe it will be tolerated. Thoughtless and carelessness will lose us everything and already have taken their toll internationally. Thoughtfulness means asking any question you need in order to clarify the question being asked of you. We like people who are a quick and deep study, but we cannot abide people who react from not understanding what they are being asked. To become a more thoughtful country, which we are long overdue in becoming, we need to reverse the American mindset that can't stand reading, thinking or learning. In the world's eyes we have become a country of ignorant blamers, whiners and excuse makers. We need to become more curious and less "know it all."

Consideration

Poise — and respect for a question being asked you– begins with a pause. The more a candidate comes up with a pat and default answer, especially one we've heard before, the less we will feel they are truly considering the question they are asked. Consideration demonstrates that you are not only hearing to what is being asked, but are listening to what the real significance of it is. The less your response indicates that deeper listening, the more people will feel you are giving them short shrift. That will not work any longer.

Deliberation

That's what a responsible jury does after it has heard all the evidence presented to it. They need to sort through what makes sense and doesn't, what feels right and doesn't, what is important (as informed by your values) and isn't. This leads to the last two elements.

Decisiveness

After someone has listened deeply, considered what they heard and deliberated on, a leader needs to make the decision.  The ability to pull that trigger without being trigger happy is critical to effective leadership.  And if that person can weave what they’ve heard through sound judgment and a track record of making successful judgment calls, that will go a long way to instilling confidence.

Clarity

The clearer, more specific AND concise they are in communicating the more confidence we have in them. There are few things that increase doubt and lower confidence more than when some appears confused or confusing. This is perhaps the greatest sign of intelligence. People who again give pat answers are clear but seem to be dodging something and people who go on and on seem to know they have talked too much and instead of stopping and pulling their foot out of their mouth, proceed to lodge it even deeper.

Conclusion

When you're dealing with a frightened people, they initially don't really care what you know or how smart you are until they know what you can and will get done for them. Part of the national anxiety is that we don't have candidates with a track record of having already achieved something for a large scale of people like the American people that made a measurable, positive lasting result. The idea that whoever is elected will be performing an experiment with America that may or may not work, sends our collective anxiety through the roof.

I hope I have practiced a little what I have preached. But for the time being, "Please pass the remote control, the popcorn and the Xanax."

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