Linda Spangle, RN, MA, is a weight-loss coach specializing in emotional eating, and the author of 100 Days of Weight Loss, a book of daily lessons that helps people stay committed to their diet and exercise plans.

Guest Blogger Linda Spangle--

A TRUE STORY:

Carol dreaded Mother's Day. Last year, as the holiday was approaching, she told me that she anticipated the same story as always. Her three grown kids would be extremely busy and wrapped up in their own lives. If she was lucky, she might get a couple of cards, although they'd probably arrive a day late. What Carol really yearned for each year was that her kids would call and actually wish her a happy day. But... they rarely did.

Typically, as the day wore on with no word from the kids, Carol's anger and resentment would grow. Eventually she'd start digging through the refrigerator for something to help her forget that her children were so "selfish and ungrateful."

As we talked, Carol began to see that she was overeating for a pretty silly reason. Since being angry at her kids never changed the outcome, she wanted a new plan that might give her what she really wanted, which was to hear some warmth and appreciation.

So rather than waiting for her own phone to ring on Mother's Day, I asked her to call her children instead. Her goal was to let each of them know she loved and appreciated them and how they brought joy to her life. For the next week, she thought carefully about what she would say. She even wrote a script to make sure she stayed positive and didn't slip into blaming or scolding.

On Mother's Day, she woke up feeling excited and ready to put her plan into action. In the early afternoon, she called each of the kids, then used her script to keep focused on them instead of on her own needs. With each one, she also shared a specific childhood memory that always made her smile and finished the call by saying "I love you."

The result was amazing. Of course, her kids enjoyed and appreciated her calls. But the biggest difference was in Carol herself. She discovered an empowerment and satisfaction she hadn't felt in years. And the best part was, she completely escaped the problem with overeating that she'd done in the past.

Twist your day around

This year, as you make your plans, take a fresh approach to Mother's Day. This might include spending time with a special person or showing extra love toward someone you care about. Or maybe, like Carol, you'll simply reach out to your own children with affection and appreciation for their presence in your life.

Regardless of your current situation with your mother, children, step children or perhaps even sadness because you've lost your mother, turn your energy away from yourself and reach out to someone else. Use your ability to love and appreciate others to brighten the day and make a difference for someone else.

Without there having been a mother somewhere, you wouldn't be reading this. So now it's your turn. Instead of using food to replace what you might be missing in life, take the focus off yourself, and send some love back into the world.

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               Food Won't Take Away The Pain