Having Horror Heard Helps Heal Hurt

Mark Goulston, M.D. will be on Entertainment Tonight, today, Wednesday, September 2 at 7 PM to discuss Jaycee Dugard and the possible effect her captivity has had on her and on her children.

Mark Goulston--

Imagine Jaycee's personality as a car that was happily waiting for a bus 18 years ago and then she was abducted by the Garridos, and taken to the compound that we are now seeing pictures of.  Now instead of a personality adjusting to the world around you, think of an automobile transmission as the part of a car that adjusts and transmits the power to a car in response to the road it is on.  Her transmission which was "geared" towards freedom and freedom of choice, suddenly had to be changed to one that had to cope with the threat of danger to survive.

It's as if previous to her kidnapping she could navigate her way into her future.  However, after it she had to navigate her way to survive which was to either stop, go in reverse, or obediently move forward according to the will of Garrido.

Now suddenly she has been freed and she has to undergo a transmission overhaul while she is driving (this by the way is what soldiers have to do when returning from active service to military life). How would a person accomplish this?

The more variables you have to deal with, the worse your chance of making the transition successfully. Therefore using the car analogy, just as one would keep the frame, the tires, the electrical circuitry and other parts of the car the during a transmission overhaul, Jaycee should continue all the physically, mentally, emotionally and psychologically healthful activities that she may already be doing.  That would be exercise, reading books, reading to her children, etc.

Once that foundation of helpful health inducing routines has been established, she should undergo therapy that is supportive while gently uncovering, experiencing fully and recovering from the traumas she has undergone.

It should not be rushed, but pivotal to her emotional healing, will be her telling the stories of what has happened to her in such excruciatingly specific detail that the therapist listening can see and possibly feel what Jaycee was going through.  At those moments, if Jaycee can feel "felt" in a safe relationship, she will re-experience the feelings she had at the time of the event (the analogy would be the difference in how you would feel between your telling someone that your parent died and your telling someone in general terms that your parent died and your telling them about being in the hospital room when your parent took their last breath and then what you saw).

It is in that moment of reliving and re-experiencing the feelings you didn't have the chance to feel at the time of the trauma (because you were too busy trying to survive) that your personality has the possibility to reconfigure your internal relation to that event.  When that happens you have the chance to change the way the world occurs to you and how you look at and most importantly interact with the world.

And that is the point at which you can begin to step out of your past, leave it behind you and step into your future.

If this speaks to you, be sure to check out my about to be released book: Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

Dr. Mark Goulston is the best selling author or four books and the critically acclaimed book, "Just Listen" Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone (AMACOM/Sept 2009). He is a business psychiatrist and works with executives, senior managers and sales teams to achieve breakthrough results by becoming better listeners.

He honed his skills as a UCLA professor of psychiatry for more than twenty- five years, FBI/police hostage negotiation trainer and clinical psychiatrist. He writes the weekly Tribune syndicated career advice column, "Solve Anything with Dr. Mark," writes on leadership for Fast Company and Directors Monthly and blogs for the Huffington Post. He is frequently called upon to share his expertise with regard to contemporary business, national and world news by television, radio and print media including: Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, Los Angeles Times, ABC/NBC/CBS/Fox/CNN/BBC News, Oprah, and Today. He is a member of the International Leadership Association and has been a member of the National Association of Corporate Directors and the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches.  Dr. Goulston was selected as one of the America Top Psychiatrists for 2009, 2005, 2004 by the Consumers Research Council of America. For more information visit: www.markgoulston.com.

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