Rocky Lang is a film director, screenwriter, producer and author of four books. He produced Ridley Scott's White Squall and the Emmy Award winning mini-series Titanic. He has directed three feature films and series television. He recently produced Racing For Time for Lifetime.  Rocky Lang is also a co-author of Confessions of Emergency Room Doctors and Lara Takes Charge. This May, Mr. Lang will be honored as Father of The Year by the American Diabetes Association for his books for children and his diabetes advocacy.

Guest Blogger Rocky Lang--

It was several years ago and my then wife Jeannie, a physician and professor at U.S.C. School of Medicine had a few doctor friends over and after a couple of bottles of wine, the stories started to flow.

“I had a patient come in with not only a doorknob up his butt, but the entire mechanism. It was right there on the x-ray,” said a young resident.

Oh yeah, said another…” I did a cell phone extraction and the thing was still ringing." Another asked, “was it on vibrating mode too?"

I thought these stories were priceless and I wrote them down thinking I would use them in one of my movies, for I am a film writer, director and producer. I reasoned, fact is definitely stranger than fiction.

Over the years I continued to collect stories and the result is my new book, Confessions of Emergency Room Doctors, which incidentally I wrote with my then wife Jeannie’s new husband, Dr. Erick Montero, who happens to be a first rate chest cutter. While transplanting hearts, he found the time to dig up some of the craziest and hilarious emergency room stories from the doctors and nurses he works with.

Aside from the personal stories, we also have anecdotes from patients like the lady who complained about the jelly on her English muffin. Upon closer examination the nurse realized the woman had spread KY jelly on her succulent morning meal.

Of course there is a section on Dr.’s names such as a couple of dentists that shared an office, Dr.’s Tooth and Gums….and the surgeon Dr. Slaughter and the urologist, Dr. Cockburn.

We have a great story about a man who was convinced there was a rat inside his wife’s vagina ready to bite him each time they had sex. Turned out she had a surgical needle left in her vagina after a previous surgery.

There are a number of great practical jokers in and around the emergency room. One senior resident got smashed at a hospital party and passed out. He awoke a few hours later in a full body cast in a dark hallway, courtesy of the junior residents and interns he screamed at for the previous year. Nice send off for a nice guy.

I particularly liked the area where we found a number of strange entries in medical charts. One chart read, “She had been constipated most of her life until she got divorced.”

All in all, this was a hoot to write and research. Having come from a family that has a number of doctors in it, I always appreciate how much the doctors I know really care about their patients and the state of our health care system…. but my gosh, do they have some great stories.

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